About me…
Hi there, I'm Jacqlin.
I am The FREEDOM Finder for Parents.
That is what I do.
I empower Men and Women to create more freedom for themselves in their lives as Parents. It’s that simple really.
I am a Mother, Parent Empowerment Mentor, Speaker, Facilitator and Author who is deeply passionate about bringing greater awareness to the way we raise our children & teens. Raising empowered children takes empowered Parents and I love to walk alongside Men and Women as they empower themselves through my Mentorship and Programs into a very different way of being a Parent.
What I'm talking about is an evolution in the way we raise our kids where all parents and children see themselves and each other as powerful and to do that we need to see ourselves as powerful first!
I love to use humour in the way I show up for my clients.
Laughter and lightness are the medicine I deliver my work with.
Because life as an adult can be a bit ‘serious!’
I love to talk about ‘parent face-plants!’ You know when things don’t go smoothly, are far from perfect or they completely screw up! It happens to all of us and finding acceptance of our humanness creates empowerment and the new way of doing it differently.
I also bang on a LOT about the 5 ‘parent traps.’ These are the traps that we unconsciously nose-dive into when we become parents.
The 5 parent what?
These are the auto-pilot traps we totally fall into when we become parents. Without even realising it!
When we become Parents, we turn into our Parents!
Or a reaction to them!
Either repeating what they did or doing the exact opposite.
Yip it's a thing!
The #weparentfromthepast trap is the biggest one that hijacks us in our lives as parents. We totally end up in the bottom of it when we become Mums and Dads. And it's not our fault....it is simply the cycles from the past.
Often neither of those 2 extremes are particularly authentic or supportive to how you actually want to BE.
The FREEDOM to be who YOU are as a parent.
Not your Mum.
Not your Dad.
Or a mish-mash of both!
I had a bit of a car crash entry into becoming a parent. I could see the debris of my former life all around me and I know I’m not alone!
My transition from corporate architect to stay at home Mum ended up with me being hospitalised for 3 months with severe PND and anxiety.
And that was not what I signed up for!
I share my story so that I can then offer parents my skills so they can navigate their own journey with more ease, grace. More humour!
I work with parents so they can understand WHY they parent the way they do.
Through awareness and understanding of WHERE it comes from.
So they can let go of the perfectionism
The need to get everything RIGHT
So they can let go of SELF judgment.
So they can navigate their parent journey that is full of countless ‘parent face plants’ with as much ease, grace and humour as they can.
This invites acceptance around where they are as parents which is the platform to change the bits they’re not so keen on.
To move into empowerment.
In their lives as parents.
And the FREEDOM that comes along with it.
I can help you:
Be a 'real' Parent. You don’t have to be perfect - actually it’s better when you're not!
Understand yourself, your partner and your children better.
Understand the differences between yourself and your partner because sometimes they can seem like a different species. Am I right?
Understand the differences between yourselves and your children because sometimes we don't get the child we thought we were going to get!
Understand the differences between the children you have because wow they're all different!
Create more time for yourselves by finding new ways of asking for help and creating support because the village isn't what it used to be. We need a new modern version. One that suits the current climate, not the one we were raised in!
Increase your confidence as a parent to make empowered choices around how YOU want to parent regardless of what other people think. Lifting out of the #judgement trap!
Keep your zest for life alive, or get it burning again if its gone out. Knowing how to move forward in life and being excited about it!
To be loving even when your kids are seriously pushing your buttons.
Put your own needs as a person FIRST and let go of the belief once and for all that it always has to be you! Because it’s actually better when it’s not. You can create more time, space, energy and FREEDOM for yourself as a parent.
Build trust in yourself, your partner, your kids and the world around you to bring more fun, joy and presence to your life as a Parent - to discover another way where you can parent in, during and through ANY circumstances that life throws at you.
“Discover a new way of parenting if it didn’t turn out like you thought it would.”
“Family life has completely changed! We have so much more fun, love and laughter in our daily life. We play. I thought I had forgotten how. Thank you!”
Frank and Sue, Auckland
"I wanted to write and say a huge thank you for the support that you gave my husband and I with our parenting. I was nervous and a little embarrassed about coming to have some parent mentoring sessions and I am so incredibly happy that we did!
Before coming to see you I just didn't 'get' my kids. I was totally confused by much of their behaviour and just couldn't understand why we couldn't see eye to eye. They are like chalk and cheese with everything they do, like and don't like. They fight like crazy and the way they feel about everything seems to be at opposite ends of the scale. I wondered how they could even be related!
My husband would often have a completely different view on many of the challenging situations we found ourselves in and I struggled with that too.
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Since coming to see you there have been massive changes in our family. Our life has literally transformed! It's like suddenly we see each other from a completely different perspective. One of understanding. I thought we must all be different and now I know why. I now know how to approach my kids (and my husband!) from a totally different place. One of understanding and compassion. I 'get' them and they are starting to 'get' each other through what we have learn’t.
I feel like I understand my husband in a completely different way and that's pretty awesome after 12 years of marriage!
Thank you for sharing the Recipe with us. We are excited by life again and incredibly grateful to you and the work you do."
Sarah and Mark, Auckland
“The biggest breakthrough by far has been in our relationship. We were on the verge of separation when we first heard about Jacqlin and the Recipe. We now know how to talk to each other and understand where and why we clash and now have so many different ways that we can connect. The understanding we have around how different we are has brought us closer together! We accept each other and see each other in a completely new way…..it’s like we’re teenagers again!”
R and T, Auckland
“The Recipe for Parenting you shared with us have shown us so much in creating a better connection in our family. When the struggles and frustrations of family life arise, which they always will, we feel so well equipped with our own unique tool kit that we developed within the program.
We finally have a way that supports our connection with our kids.
Jess and Mike, Hawkes Bay
“I used to think our child was broken. His behaviour was so bad I thought there must be something wrong with him. You have shown us a very different picture and we are so incredibly grateful. We simply didn’t understand him or ourselves. We approach him and each other in a completely new way and the results have been next level amazing and it was so fast!
Thank you for sharing the Recipe. Our life is so so much better!”
J and M, Auckland
What do you want your family life to look like?
I want to support you as a parent to create the environment that you want for your family life. We are all different and we all want different things. However the dream of having kids and watching them grow and thrive, becoming the best version of themselves they can be is at the heart of it all.
Perhaps having children isn’t how you thought it was going to be. Maybe the picture you painted, that vision you had before the birth is a little different from your reality. Perhaps you’re stuck in the #weparentfromthepast trap and some of those not-so-desirable aspects of your own upbringing are coming through in your own parenting and your wondering how the heck that happened and how to change it?
How we parent our kids matters. The environment we create for our children and our family life matters. It matters a lot. We can, with awareness and willingness to do it differently, take the best of how we were parented and chuck out the rest. We can choose a new emotional technology (I like computer jargon!) that is not rooted in the past to align our parenting to what is most important to us moving forward in the future.
This new emotional technology is found by learning how to Parent From Greatness!
And I can’t wait to share it with you!
“What I learnt is incredible.
It is so simple, so accessible and so real. It was so easy to learn and apply. This work really is the parent instruction manual I’ve always wanted.”
Jane and Brendon - Auckland
“What I loved most about working with Jacqlin is that it wasn’t just her teaching us a series of tricks and parenting tips that either didn’t work for us or didn’t feel right.
Throughout the program we were developing our own tool kit that was aligned with our own unique family members and environment. We are stoked!”
Jeff, Auckland
Why do I do this?
As I said previously I had a hard time becoming a parent. It was a shock. A bit like a car crash! I could see the debris of my previous life scattered all around me and I had no idea how to actually live the dream that I had for myself as a parent.
I started my journey supporting parents by teaching hypnobirthing. Couples would come and learn tools and techniques to prepare them for the birth of their child.
However, what I was seeing were couples that were open minded, they wanted to do things differently but also just wanted to get through the birth. They saw birth as an event, just like I did back in the day. I also had no idea of what was to come.
That the real journey was further ahead.
That birth, was just a blip on the timeline of what it is to be a parent. Even the antenatal classes that concentrated on birth, medication, epidurals, changing nappies etc would in no way prepare me for what lay ahead on my parent journey.
When I thought about the fact that you need training, certification or some sort of qualification to do pretty much anything in this world. I mean you need a licence to have a dog !
So you need to be qualified for everything, apart from parenting!
To become a parent, you pretty much just need to get a man and a woman together and well you know the rest……
It kind of blew my mind that to be a parent, to do the most important job in the world, raising the future generation, I didn't need any training any certification or any qualification! I asked myself the question, “where does the way that a parent, parents come from?”
And the answer to that is the combination of one parents upbringing squished together with the other parents upbringing creating a mooshed up ball of parenting style(s) that often wasn't even spoken about before the kids came along! When I thought about that a little more…. the fact that my parenting was based on my parents parenting it suddenly dawned on me that the way that I was responding or reacting to my kids was in a sense a parenting model that was over 30 years old. Arrrggghhhh! That made sense, I had literally turned into my mother!
Now I don't know about you but if I went to say …..a dentist….. and I found out that he gained his qualification by studying books that were over 30 years old I kind of might reconsider putting myself and my mouth in his hands!
The kids of today are very different. They are being birthed into a completely different climate. Yip, things have changed a tad since we were kids. Looking at the advances the world had made in medicine, science, transportation and technology, I asked myself, “isn't it time we do parenting a different way?
Rather than repeating the patterns and beliefs of the past? The ones we learnt from our parents?” I asked, “Isn't it time for a new way? …..